Two days ago at midnight I was on the floor crying and shouting to Jesus. I wasn’t In pain, I wasn’t distressed, nor scared. I was too overwhelmed by His love that my body just couldn’t contain. At that point I didn’t care rather the neighbors heard it, or not, or even if someone would have seen me. I thanked God for these 26 years. If I counted all the thousands of days and probably millions of minutes I never deserved I would get to cry again :)) I KNOW that heavens rejoiced when I was born and that God blessed that day even if I cursed it many times. But what He calls blessed is blessed indeed. 

I had wrestled with God for years and tried to dictate Him what my life should look like, believing that I could obtain happiness and satisfaction by my own wisdom and rules. Even after I became saved I didn’t stop bargaining with God, and that’s clearly a proof that I had no idea who God is, back at that time. 

Yeah, it was my birthday, but it was God’s day, the day that He ordained for me, the day when He decided to move me from His mind into this physical world, after knitting me perfectly in my mom’s womb for 7 months. And He did no mistake. Everything that He did was perfect. 

And my life would’ve been perfect until now if it was only about what God accomplishes. But sin interfered. The devil interfered. My flesh interfered. And that’s how I learned I need THE Savior. And much later on I understood that I wanted to make the Saviour THE Lord of my life likewise. And God was patient. Jesus was present in all of my days, even when I had no clue He was there or that He would even exist. He’s been watching over me. And then He revealed me His love, and still does, bit by bit everyday, cause the heavens and earth cannot contain His eternal and endless love. That’s how I ended up there, on the floor. 

Jesus is enough. You don’t need anything and anyone else to fulfill you. Not because that’s what God says (even tho He does), but because nothing and nobody else can! Believe me, I searched for it in so many sources. Nothing satisfies like He does, money don’t, sex doesn’t, masturbation doesn’t, porn doesn’t, fame doesn’t, power doesn’t, knowledge doesn’t, people don’t. Only Jesus Jesus Jesus!

I’d also mention that we’re created to need Him. It’s by design. Just as something is made in such a way that it would would properly work in specific condition with certain requirements, so are we. We’re made to worship, we’re made to be in communion with Him. And if it’s not with Him it’s gonna be with something or someone else, because there’s not other way. We are being made to worship; now it’s the choice of whom we want to worship: the Creator or other stuff.

So thank You, Lord, for these 26 years. Thank You for blessing the 10th day of Feb and speaking life and breathing your Spirit into it. Thank You for doing something out of nothing. Thank You for giving birth to a new creation. Thank You for the wonderful people in my life. Thank You for when they’re there and for when they’re not, cause that’s when You teach me You always are. Thank You for rejoicing over me. You’re my all. You’re my One.